Believer | Mother | Writer | Friend
For those of you I’ve yet to meet, Hi! I’m Amy, a 41-year old who is proud of her age. I’ve never been one to care about numbers so why start now? I hope you find something on the pages of my blog that will speak to the season of life you’re in. I have written through some of my best and came out swinging from my worst. But God, right? He is faithful and He has always stood by, even carried me when I couldn’t walk on my own. Love you. Love, God was birthed from a season that was a bit of both.
I remember writing my first poem when I was 10, on my way home from a trip to Colorado. From then on, I continued to write poems and non-fiction pieces based on personal stories. It wasn’t until I became an adult, in my early 30’s, that I truly felt God was putting words on my heart to share. Prior to that, I wrote about my experiences, my emotions and about people or places in my life.
If you’ve found this page, more than likely we’re either already acquainted with one another or you’ve heard about Love you. Love, God. I thought it might be good to share a little bit about myself for those of you I’ve yet to meet.
I have to be honest and say that it took me 6 months to get up the nerve to rewrite this section. When I first started my blog, I was happily married with a teenage daughter, two dogs and two cats. Life has a way of changing quickly and without our permission. I don’t really feel the need to share the details, but to learn about me you have to know that I am now divorced. As of April 2021, I am now on my own again, navigating life as a single woman. I have a beautiful, 21-year old daughter who is attending nursing school in Kentucky. She is not only my daughter but my friend. Her faith helps me with mine. We laugh, cry and call each other out when we need to. For Christmas 2021, she bought me my very first puppy. Yes, I’ve had puppies before, but none just for myself. I named her Grace aka Gracie as a reminder that I need grace, to give it to others as well as to the puppy now in my care. I also have to gorgeous fat cats, Tibby and Tick. Yes, it’s a house of females, and when I get a couple cows one day, they’ll be girls as well. Don’t get the wrong impression, this is just how it worked out!
In order to share the story of Love you. Love, God I have to talk about what was at the time. It’s a story I will never forget. It started on the beach in Mexico while on my honeymoon in 2012. It was then that God started talking to me about writing. Not audibly, but it was loud enough in my head that I had to take notes. My [now ex] husband gave me a confused look and asked, “What are you doing?”
I yelled while running to our room to get a pen and notebook, “God’s talking to me and I need to write this down!”
For at least an hour, I sat there and wrote, oblivious to everything going on around me. It was that moment that the concept was born, but not perfected — it’ll never be perfected. Always changing, always improving, just how God wants US to be.
The most important thing I wrote down, taking up one single page was this: Love you. Love God.
I didn’t really know what it meant at the time, but God was working on something that He’d later explain.
For the next couple years, I wrote religiously. Every week day I would log on to Facebook and post inspirational messages. Now you should know, I can’t take credit for any of the words I had written. Before I put pen to paper (or fingertips to keyboard), I would say a prayer. It sounds something like this:
“God, please give me the words that someone needs to hear this morning.”
There are times when it only started with a word, other times a phrase or scripture and many times, prayer wasn’t even needed. There was always a topic that God put on my heart and I would just start writing.
Writing is what I do. It’s how I express myself. During difficult times, writing is the only way I can fully understand, myself, how I feel or convey to others what I’m going through. Verbalizing isn’t the easiest for me. On a good day, I can give decent advice. On a typical day, I am able to write down what I’m thinking to then read it later on. But this writing was different. It wasn’t for me. It felt as if the words were intentionally put on my heart for someone else — most of the time, I never knew who it was for.
Here’s the cool part…
One day those four words from years before popped into my head only they appeared a little differently this time.
It was starting to make sense now. Those words, written so intentionally, were for someone specific from God. And what might you guess was the reason behind it all? To say to whomever it was, that He loved them…signed with His signature. If I go back to all those Facebook postings and end them with Love you. Love, God it brings about the very reason those four words, and all the ones thereafter, were placed on my heart.
There was a period of time that [it was as if] God had taken the ability to write away from me. I didn’t understand what happened but my assumption now, looking back, is that God was stripping away things that were keeping me too busy to be with Him, to learn what He needed to teach me. He slowly began asking me to remove myself from positions I was in, either at work, at church where I served in a number of capacities and then, all of a sudden, I could no longer write. Not only was the ability gone but the desire was as well. It was a time in my life where I can count on my fingers and toes all the struggles I went through. God knew, which is why He led me to make some changes. From four surgeries and several cancer scares to illness and loss, God walked me through some pretty tough stuff. It wasn’t until early 2021 that I would begin to walk through the toughest.
Fast forward to January 2022, when I sit here and type this, I feel different. I am very grateful to God for His protection, for having pulled me away from things that had my focus so that I could start to focus on Him. The extra time over those couple years was spent reading, praying and learning. One of my favorite pastors and authors, Levi Lusko, says that God prepares us for the season we’re not yet in. If I would have known all of what I went through and all I thought I lost was in preparation for what was to come, I would have embraced it more.
Over time, the passion and desire in my heart to serve God and follow His direction has grown emmensely. I am a work in progress. I haven’t done things perfectly — ever — and I’ll be the first to tell you when I make a mistake. But I will tell you this and I hope you’ll hear this above all else, I’ve learned to give myself grace. I’ve learned to forgive myself. And I’ve learned that it’s okay to not always be okay. These lessons have helped me to be able to give grace to others, to forgive quickly and to be vulnerable when I’m not okay. People connect with us best when we don’t try to act like everything is okay. Sometimes I am hurting. Sometimes I am angry. Sometimes I am sad. But I stand with a posture that allows me to feel what I feel without staying stuck in those feelings. It’s invigorating to say that because, years ago, I would fall so easily into my feelings. My days were dictated by my feelings instead of the other way around.
Trust that what you see on this site is something that God has given me to share with you [or maybe for you to share with someone else]. God knows what we need – always.
Sometimes we are simply the vessel He’s using to serve those who need to hear His voice or feel His presence. The writings you see may be on countless topics but one thing will always remain a constant – God is at the center of it all. God is behind every word. He has brought us to Him for reasons we are only beginning to understand. As you might imagine, many of my writings were when I was a wife, a title I enjoyed very much. I have chosen to keep all of those posts the same. I would never erase that part of my life. I am believing God will redeem so much of what I feel has been lost when the relationship ended. I hope you will believe the same if you are ever in a similar situation. It isn’t easy but God is steady, He is faithful and He loves you.
I wish you many, many blessings – today, and always!